patience patience patience patience


patience patience patience patience ( some truth but 51% nonsense )

oh i sat in the dry & the moon rubbed my thigh

with a tear in my throat & a frog in my eye

as the nightingale sighed

& the telephone toned

oh i sat in the dry & the moon rubbed my thigh

oh i sat in the wet & the sun licked my neck

with a crow up my nose & some dust in my spec

as the sparrow hawk cried

& the bumble bee droned

oh i sat in the wet & the sun licked my neck

oh i sat in the mist & the wind kissed my lips

as the breeze slapped my knees & i sneeze from the hips

as the flapping bats glide

& the mossy wall groaned

oh i sat in the mist & the wind kissed my lips

oh i sat in the clear & the fog kissed my ear

as the stars burned nicked cars so the partridges cheered

as the lions felt pride

& the statues were stoned

well i sat & i sat - oh but where were you dear?


cheerio & out the other one …


cheerio & out the other one ( 15 lines of all poets are bloody drama queens )

there's cobwebs aplenty - the spiders are weaving

as fox cubs are learning & cob nuts are greening

the nettles are stinging

as church bells are ringing

the woodland is breathing - the wheat fields are gleaming

there's tin cans & pennies - the magpies are thieving

as veiled dales are rolling & steadfastly dreaming

the gardens are brimming

as whirlpools are spinning

the nights are increasing - they're eating our evenings

the hedges bear berries - the orchards are heaving

as autumn is stirring & doubtless not scheming

the geese skeins are singing

as change is beginning

the sun above's beaming but summer is leaving


gingerbread mansions & shaggy dog barks


gingerbread mansions & shaggy dog barks ( a poem of sorts )

gingerbread mansions & shaggy dog barks

rambling campfires - their embers & sparks

breadcrumbs & tea leaves spell rumour woz 'ere

curtains are twitching at certain remarks

magical carrots & twinkles in eyes

hovering wild boar above in the skies

crocodiles sobbing at prize plums in tears

pastry when flaky & fingers in pies

biblical catches & bangs off the mark

babbling barn owls & mouse howls - oh, hark

noses are growing as too are both ears

monsters in wardrobes in fear of the dark

motherly beans geese & kings among flies

dizzying low spots & baffling highs

mouldy old parchments are smeared by the years

questions deserting the wheres & the whys

flowering fountains & bouncing ballparks

sticklebacks swimming with mermaids & sharks

wine by the jug, squire & lashings of beer

scrambles in tangles are soon to embark

chattering breezes & whispering spies

lunatic fringes & classic wolf cries

often the truth though - yes, this much is clear

honesty hides well in bollocks & lies