the animal offensive

~

the animal offensive  (  a  p o e m  &  t h e  t r u t h  t o o  )




wombat battleships

hare air carriers

snark armadas

hedgehog hovercraft


aardvark arsenals

goshawk fighter jets

frogmouth frogmen

brown owl tiger tanks


penguin paratroops

black swan bomber squads

spider snipers

bugbear legionnaires


merman mercenaries

catfish cavalry

panther panzers

ibex infantry


shark artillery

bat battalions

toucan troopers

red fox special-ops


marching marmosets

war, roar unicorns

on, treecreepers

fuck you, zookeepers

...




















































































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orthopaedic shoes

~

orthopaedic shoes  (  a  p o e m z  )




strolling a song

in the muddle of the morn


baa bleat the cows

& a moo from all the ewes


stringing along

with y' vest & dressing gown


toothpaste's the stain

on y' tartan painted trews


smiles from the town

on a yokel-local lane


still sits the wind

so the miller blows a fuse


autumn's in spore

as a buzzard boars the sky


holes in the soles

of y' orthopaedic shoes

...















excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses

~

excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses, excuses  (  ?  )


silage is golden

the dog ate the silage

freddie starr ate my last rolo


then


i fell into a puddle

on a rainy daze

in gloucester

& met suranne jones

& a narwhal from atlantis


so


it's pantomime season

& the garden gnomes are wassailing


-


moles are the only true

ground breakers left


but


if i were a ptarmigan

in a tartan cardigan


~


cows keep mooing

mooing

the goalposts

...














































alphabet antennae

~

alphabet antennae  (  a  p o e t r y  )




alphabet antennae

blasting badger babylon

christmas crystal crows

diabetic dogs


even easter's eggheads

farting farthing funerals

galloping goshawks

horus's horsefly


iodine is inkling

j'accuse jim's jacuzzi jam

kipper kilowatts

lemon leper lords


musical, my mudflaps

nibiru's new noodle nest

otter obelisks

pyrotechnic plums


quoting quagga quince queens

ruffle rubber river run

seven silver swans

tonsil tonguing toads


unicorn urinals

vintage viking valium

weasels waxing wings

xanadu's xenon


yodel yeti yeoman

zither zephyr zulu zeus

( zzzzzzz )

...